The real reason your resolutions aren’t sticking—and what actually creates lasting change
By the second week of January, most resolutions have quietly dissolved. The gym visits taper off. The meal prep gets skipped. The meditation app sends notifications to an unopened phone.
And somewhere in the gap between intention and action, a familiar voice shows up: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just follow through?
Here’s what I want you to know: nothing is wrong with you.
The problem isn’t your character, your discipline, or your commitment. The problem is that we’ve been taught to approach change in a way that ignores the single most important factor in whether new habits stick: the state of your nervous system.
The Willpower Myth
We’ve been told that change is simple: decide what you want, make a plan, and use willpower to push through. If you fail, try harder. Want it more. Be more disciplined.
This model treats the mind like a CEO and the body like an employee who just needs better management.
But that’s not how we work.
Your nervous system isn’t taking orders from your prefrontal cortex—it’s running its own calculations based on one question: Am I safe?
When your nervous system perceives threat—whether that’s an actual danger, chronic stress, too little sleep, or the accumulated overwhelm of modern life—it shifts into survival mode. And survival mode has a very short list of priorities: get through the next moment. Find quick relief. Conserve energy for emergencies.
Long-term goals, healthy habits, and future planning are not on that list.
What’s Actually Happening When You Can’t Follow Through
Let’s say you’ve decided to eat better. You’ve stocked your fridge, planned your meals, and you’re genuinely motivated.
Then a stressful day happens. A difficult email. A conflict with a coworker. A sleepless night with a sick kid.
Your nervous system registers threat. Cortisol rises. Your body shifts resources away from the “thinking” brain and toward the survival centers. Suddenly, the part of you that made that meal plan feels very far away.
And the cookie? The glass of wine? The mindless scroll through your phone? These aren’t failures of willpower. They’re your nervous system’s attempts to regulate—to find the fastest path back to feeling okay.
Your brain isn’t being weak. It’s being efficient. It’s choosing the quickest available source of dopamine, comfort, or numbing because that’s what a stressed nervous system does.
The problem isn’t that you lack willpower. The problem is that you’re trying to build a house during an earthquake.
Why January Is the Worst Time to Rely on Willpower
Here’s the cruel irony: we pick the hardest possible moment to demand the most from ourselves.
By January, most of us are arriving depleted. The holidays—even joyful ones—are physiologically taxing. Travel, disrupted sleep, rich food, family dynamics, financial stress, and the pressure to be festive all take a toll. Add in shorter days, less sunlight, and cold weather, and your nervous system is already working overtime just to maintain baseline.
Then we ask it to also:
Overhaul our eating habits
Start a new exercise routine
Wake up earlier
Meditate daily
Drink less, sleep more, be more productive
Is it any wonder this doesn’t work?
A Different Approach: Regulate First, Then Change
What if, instead of pushing harder, you started by creating the conditions where change becomes possible?
When your nervous system is regulated—when it feels safe, resourced, and resilient—everything shifts:
- You have access to your prefrontal cortex (the planning, decision-making brain)
- Cravings soften because you’re not desperately seeking relief
- Energy stabilizes because you’re not burning through reserves
- Sleep improves because your body can finally rest
- Motivation feels intrinsic rather than forced
From this state, healthy choices don’t require white-knuckling. They become the natural expression of a body that feels well.
The goal isn’t to have more willpower. The goal is to need less of it.
How Acupuncture Supports Nervous System Regulation
This is why I created the Nervous System Reset Protocol™—because I saw, again and again, patients trying to change their lives while their nervous systems were running on empty.
Acupuncture works directly with your autonomic nervous system. It activates the vagus nerve—the main pathway of your parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) response—signaling to your body that it’s safe to come out of survival mode.
With consistent treatment, patients report:
- Feeling calmer without knowing exactly why
- Sleeping more deeply and waking more rested
- Less reactivity to stress—things that used to send them spiraling feel more manageable
- Cravings (for sugar, alcohol, screens) becoming quieter
- More energy—not wired energy, but steady, sustainable energy
- A sense of being “back in their body” after feeling disconnected
These aren’t side effects. They’re signs that the nervous system is coming back into balance—and from that balance, everything else becomes more possible.
The Chinese Medicine Perspective
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, we don’t separate the mind from the body—or willpower from physical vitality. What Western medicine might call “discipline” or “motivation,” TCM understands as an expression of Qi: your fundamental life energy.
When Qi is abundant and flowing freely, you have the energy to follow through on your intentions. When Qi is depleted or stuck, even simple tasks feel impossible—not because you’re lazy, but because you’re genuinely under-resourced.
Acupuncture works to:
- Build Qi when you’re depleted (especially Spleen and Kidney Qi, which govern energy and willpower)
- Move stagnant Qi when stress has caused everything to feel stuck
- Calm the Shen (spirit/mind) when anxiety, overthinking, or insomnia are running the show
- Nourish Blood and Yin when you’ve been running too hot for too long
The result is that you don’t just feel better—you have more of yourself available for the life you want to live.
What This Could Look Like for You
Imagine arriving at February not exhausted from forcing yourself through January, but actually feeling more resourced than you did in December.
Imagine making choices that support your health—not because you’re gritting your teeth, but because your body genuinely wants them.
Imagine the things you’ve been trying to change for years finally shifting—not through force, but through foundation.
This is what nervous system regulation makes possible.
Start with the Foundation
If you’ve spent years beating yourself up for not following through—for starting and stopping, for knowing what to do but not being able to do it—I want to offer you a different story.
You haven’t been failing. You’ve been trying to build on a foundation that wasn’t ready.
What if this year, instead of another resolution, you gave your nervous system what it’s been asking for? What if you let regulation come before ambition?
That’s not giving up on your goals. That’s finally giving them a chance to take root.
